Month: October 2025

Social media dependency – when appearances and looks is all you know

The so-called social media, online platforms like Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, etc., have been with us for close to 20 years now. Young people born with smartphones, internet access and multiple social media accounts cannot really understand how life was possible before these tools came to be. Life has changed so much over the last two decades that we can’t even begin to comprehend it.

Social media can be used, in moderate dosage, in beneficial ways: for personal growth, for business purposes, to keep connected with friends and family far away. This is not, however, how a lot of people use it. There are already multiple studies, articles, books about how damaging social media usage and dependency can be, especially for children and teenagers. The question is how is it possible for so many people of all backgrounds, to become addicted to this type of content and misuse it so badly?

One possible answer regards the essence/appearance dichotomy. Traditional Christian philosophy makes a clear distinction between essence – “what you really are, your spiritual core” – and appearance – “the outer, material, less significant aspects”. The general advice is to focus more on essence and less on appearance.

The modern mentality is exactly backwards: it doesn’t matter who you are and what you are deep down, it matters only what you project to the outside world. How you look, how much you gain, what you are worth, where you spend your time, who you hang out with, etc., it’s all about external parameters, looks, and appearances.

Social media is all about appearance. With its simplistic algorithms, visual focus, and self-promotional approach, it caters perfectly to this modern mentality: “show yourself”, “express yourself”, “get engaged”, “get connected”, “make an impact”, “share”, “like”, “post”, etc. All of this creates a world where meaningful, profound exchanges and relationships are becoming increasingly rare. The superficial, the vanity metrics, the focus on appearances is seen as the norm.

The more you engage in this type of egotistic social media behavior, the more you become addicted to it and the harder it gets to engage in normal, personal, altruistic relationships. You create your little fantasy world where you are the master, you set the rules and everything happens according to your will. Why wouldn’t you like something like this?

Well, at some point, sooner or later, the bubble breaks and you realize you have invested so much of your time and energy into nothing.

Technology – double edge sword

Technology is usually seen as a cool thing that makes us smarter, faster, richer. In many cases, we actually accomplish things in a faster, smarter way with the help of technology and we become therefore materially richer. Modern societies, from politicians and dictators, to economic players such as companies, to social actors like NGOs, social media, mass media hail the role of technology and always want more of it: more tech, more innovation, more cool stuff.

On the downside, the use of technology often makes us lazier mentally and physically, more superficial, more arrogant and less connected to the truths and realities of this world.

Is this what we really need? You very rarely hear about the downsides of technology. And, when you do hear about it, it’s almost always in the form of a fatalistic lamentation like this: “That’s life, nothing you can do about it”. Well, that’s not actually true, there are things you can do about it.

The first thing you need to know is that technology is a double edge sword. It’s up to you to use the good side and not to use the bad side. If you don’t have this knowledge of what’s good and bad for you, if you don’t have control over the tools, you are better off without. Or you you need to learn.