The so-called social media, online platforms like Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, etc., have been with us for close to 20 years now. Young people born with smartphones, internet access and multiple social media accounts cannot really understand how life was possible before these tools came to be. Life has changed so much over the last two decades that we can’t even begin to comprehend it.

Social media can be used, in moderate dosage, in beneficial ways: for personal growth, for business purposes, to keep connected with friends and family far away. This is not, however, how a lot of people use it. There are already multiple studies, articles, books about how damaging social media usage and dependency can be, especially for children and teenagers. The question is how is it possible for so many people of all backgrounds, to become addicted to this type of content and misuse it so badly?

One possible answer regards the essence/appearance dichotomy. Traditional Christian philosophy makes a clear distinction between essence – “what you really are, your spiritual core” – and appearance – “the outer, material, less significant aspects”. The general advice is to focus more on essence and less on appearance.

The modern mentality is exactly backwards: it doesn’t matter who you are and what you are deep down, it matters only what you project to the outside world. How you look, how much you gain, what you are worth, where you spend your time, who you hang out with, etc., it’s all about external parameters, looks, and appearances.

Social media is all about appearance. With its simplistic algorithms, visual focus, and self-promotional approach, it caters perfectly to this modern mentality: “show yourself”, “express yourself”, “get engaged”, “get connected”, “make an impact”, “share”, “like”, “post”, etc. All of this creates a world where meaningful, profound exchanges and relationships are becoming increasingly rare. The superficial, the vanity metrics, the focus on appearances is seen as the norm.

The more you engage in this type of egotistic social media behavior, the more you become addicted to it and the harder it gets to engage in normal, personal, altruistic relationships. You create your little fantasy world where you are the master, you set the rules and everything happens according to your will. Why wouldn’t you like something like this?

Well, at some point, sooner or later, the bubble breaks and you realize you have invested so much of your time and energy into nothing.