social-media

Social media dependency – when appearances and looks is all you know

The so-called social media, online platforms like Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, etc., have been with us for close to 20 years now. Young people born with smartphones, internet access and multiple social media accounts cannot really understand how life was possible before these tools came to be. Life has changed so much over the last two decades that we can’t even begin to comprehend it.

Social media can be used, in moderate dosage, in beneficial ways: for personal growth, for business purposes, to keep connected with friends and family far away. This is not, however, how a lot of people use it. There are already multiple studies, articles, books about how damaging social media usage and dependency can be, especially for children and teenagers. The question is how is it possible for so many people of all backgrounds, to become addicted to this type of content and misuse it so badly?

One possible answer regards the essence/appearance dichotomy. Traditional Christian philosophy makes a clear distinction between essence – “what you really are, your spiritual core” – and appearance – “the outer, material, less significant aspects”. The general advice is to focus more on essence and less on appearance.

The modern mentality is exactly backwards: it doesn’t matter who you are and what you are deep down, it matters only what you project to the outside world. How you look, how much you gain, what you are worth, where you spend your time, who you hang out with, etc., it’s all about external parameters, looks, and appearances.

Social media is all about appearance. With its simplistic algorithms, visual focus, and self-promotional approach, it caters perfectly to this modern mentality: “show yourself”, “express yourself”, “get engaged”, “get connected”, “make an impact”, “share”, “like”, “post”, etc. All of this creates a world where meaningful, profound exchanges and relationships are becoming increasingly rare. The superficial, the vanity metrics, the focus on appearances is seen as the norm.

The more you engage in this type of egotistic social media behavior, the more you become addicted to it and the harder it gets to engage in normal, personal, altruistic relationships. You create your little fantasy world where you are the master, you set the rules and everything happens according to your will. Why wouldn’t you like something like this?

Well, at some point, sooner or later, the bubble breaks and you realize you have invested so much of your time and energy into nothing.

The news apocalypse

A type of content that is less commonly known to provoke dependency is news. By news, I mean not just the regular news bulletins in the media (TV, radio, social media, Internet) but also any kind of media content about current issues – social, political, cultural, sports, entertainment, etc. One might ask, what harm is there in watching or reading news? The answer is that, like many other forms of content addiction, news addiction leads to serious consequences in the psychological life of those impacted by it. This is not about the occasional, dispassionate consumption of news, but about a full life-altering dependency that changes the way you view yourself and the world.

Imagine for a second how a techalcoholic with a news addiction leads their life. They watch news on the TV while simultaneously reading an article on the Internet. They also check out posts and comments on multiple social media platforms, then revert back to watching talk shows or listening to podcasts on the same topic. They perform these activities almost concurrently, going back and forth from one device to another, from one channel to another, from one piece of content to another. They absorb internally whatever the algorithms and the daily trends and ratings decide is important for that day, like a drug addict consuming the drugs they are addicted to. They are in an informational whirlwind, which takes them mentally from one place to another in an erratic, forced, unstable way. They get a diabolical enjoyment and sense of satisfaction from watching and seeing all the confrontation, misery, and tragedy of the world from their comfortable armchair at home, but this enjoyment doesn’t last very long and is always replaced by an inner emptiness that they cannot hide. They feel satisfied that they are a modern, evolved person belonging to the civilized modern world, unlike those primitive savages in exotic places who are incurring all sorts of catastrophes.

The psychological effects of news dependency are manifold:

  • Superficiality and egotism
  • Overrating and overtrusting their own reasoning abilities
  • Inclination to judge others negatively
  • Seeing evil in everything, including themselves
  • Starting to believe the most ludicrous ideas and theories
  • Being easy to manipulate while considering themselves very smart and educated
  • Experiencing depression, despair, and an apocalyptic state of mind

The problem that techalcoholics have with the news deluge is essentially a matter of perspective. They believe that the more information they have from the outside, the better off they are. But they don’t know what someone like St. John Chrysostom said a long time ago: “Happiness can only be achieved by looking inward [not outward] and this requires transforming greed [incl. greed for information and knowledge] into gratitude”.

Device addictions and content addictions

Techalcoholism manifests in two forms:

  1. Hardware or Device Addictions: This occurs when an individual becomes addicted to a specific piece of hardware, such as a phone, TV, tablet, or car.
  2. Software or Content Addictions: This involves addiction to specific types of content, including pornography, gaming, social media, movies, or news.

Often, individuals develop a combination of both types. For instance, a person may initially use a phone normally but later become addicted to pornography, leading to a content addiction that eventually results in a device addiction, making it difficult for them to live without the phone.

Generally, overcoming device addictions is easier than content addictions. While a device can be physically discarded, content addiction operates on a psychological level, making it more challenging to address. Since most techalcoholics experience a combination of both, effective therapy must incorporate both hard and soft elements. Hard elements involve reducing or eliminating device usage, while soft elements focus on reducing or eliminating the consumption of addictive content and replacing it with more positive activities.

Using the phone – between rational and irrational

If there’s one piece of technology that is universally used and embodies both the positives and negatives of modern advancements, it’s the personal phone. By “phone,” we mean a smartphone—a device equipped with internet and digital communication capabilities. This is what most people carry in their pockets today, and it’s also the type of phone that often leads to user addiction. Older phones, lacking data or internet capabilities, are still used by some but have far less potential to induce addiction.

On the positive side, smartphones enable us to do many things that were previously impossible or much more difficult:

  • Chat or video chat with distant friends from the comfort of our personal space.
  • Use the internet to research specific topics.
  • Utilize maps or GPS to navigate and find locations.
  • Place orders for various services.
  • Watch videos or listen to music during downtime.

Despite these benefits, many of us feel that our phones have become more than just tools and that we often use them negatively. This is likely because we do. There’s a fine line between rational, useful technology use and irrational use, and we frequently cross it—initially unknowingly, but eventually, as addiction sets in, we begin to realize it. Irrational phone use becomes evident when this cool piece of technology turns from servant to master, becoming an extension of ourselves without which we can’t imagine life. Our daily activities revolve around the phone:

  • The first thing we do upon waking is check our phones for updates.
  • We scroll through our phones during breakfast.
  • We listen to music on our phones while commuting.
  • We keep our phones next to us at work, constantly switching between tasks and the phone.
  • We jog with our phones, listening to music.
  • We chat with friends all day through phone apps.
  • We order food via our phones.
  • We pay for everything using our phones.
  • We spend our evenings watching something on our phones.
  • We go to bed after one last check of our chats or social media feeds.

When you think about it, almost everything you do in a day involves your phone. It makes life easier to the point that it becomes a necessary entry point to life, an obligatory part of life—it becomes life itself. When you feel completely lost without your phone, when you can’t go more than 10 minutes without looking at it, when you can’t imagine life without it, your phone use has become irrational. No tool should ever become your master; if it does, you’re already on the wrong side of the fence.

However, there is hope. You can always regain control if you set your mind to it. One possible measure is to block certain hours or days when you don’t allow yourself to use the phone. Another option is to ditch the smartphone altogether and use a feature phone. If you find that the downsides of using a smartphone outweigh the benefits, why keep it? You could keep it in a drawer and only turn it on in exceptional cases when you really need its capabilities.